Whole new world

So since my last post some months ago - everything, and I mean everything, has changed.

I was planning to post something sooner but I will explain why I haven't.

Firstly, my fiance's father passed away suddenly. It was a shock for everyone, unexpected and heartbreaking, even more so as the cause was unknown.

That alone would put planning a wedding to the back of your mind. But in addition, my fiance's sister had a baby which was 3 month premature the day after the funeral.

Yes, I know... a lot to take in within a matter of a few weeks. A revolving door of life.

The baby, just 1lb10z, is growing slowly and each day looks more promising.

I say planning a wedding was put to the back of our minds but in a way it has been a bit of therapy - we had a planned meeting with our reception venue two days after my father-in-law to be passed away. But my fiance wanted to keep it and we even sat and did some other planning one afternoon, to try to focus on something other than the sad events.

It is a difficult time for everyone - and now our wedding will of course be bitter/sweet. But we are thinking of ways to remember his father to make sure he is still part of the day.

We had decided finally after much too-ing and fro-ing to marry in London, not New York, for various reasons, one being that maybe my fiance's father wouldnt be able to travel that far if is health took a turn for the worse. Ironic in a way but we are sticking to our choice, and selected our Save the Date cards.

We had shown his father a sample of a match box Save the Dard card (see photo) by Pretty Wild Design and he loved it.

So in light of events we decided to go for it and ordered them. So many people have remarked on them - one person said they were the best Save the Dates ever - So my fiance's father obviously had good taste! We are also in the process of designing our own invitations - his father will be incorporated in that too. More on that another time.

It is making us creative - and keeping his dad involved is comforting for me, so I hope even more so for my fiance. We can begin to enjoy planning our special day, happy in the knowledge his father would be excited for us - and that he will be part of the day in some shape or form.

So everything has changed, we lost a member of the family, gained another. Life can be cruel but it has to make us stronger and perhaps make us focus on what is important.

In the mean time, Im off to National Wedding Show next weekend - so hoping for some more creative inspiration!

Engaged and confused...

Does every bride to be have an exact picture in her mind as to what her wedding day will look like?

'I got engaged and within 2 weeks had my dress and venue booked,' the words of a newly engaged colleague rang in my ears as I sat down in front of my laptop to research wedding venues.

I was excited at the prospect of taking our first steps into the world of wedding planning but after 5 mins of trawling through the thousands of webs results I just felt deflated. What did I want?

Was it wrong that I had no idea? Did that mean I wasn't ready to be a bride?

No, that was one thing I did know. I wanted to marry my partner of four and a half years after he popped the question on my 30th birthday while sipping champagne and gazing over the city we loved to live in - London.

He had chosen a perfect pear shaped diamond and had it set on a ring the perfect size for me... yes, just perfect. But why didn't I know what I wanted from that moment on?

Over the past couple of years my h2b (I have soon learned this means husband to be in web wedding talk) had chatted about the prospect of tying the knot. New York was our fantasy which we had dared to dream about. The city held lots of good memories after a visit for New Year just a couple of months after we met.

But now the prospect of actually getting married is a reality, the dimensions of it all change. How will people feel about travelling or ultimately missing out on our big day? How will we feel? And most of all how I am going to make any decisions now that we haven't even fixed on a country to wed in? Somehow the decisions seemed to be getting broader not easier. Just where do I go from here...